I came back to my house after a long day at work and found the kitchen trashed.
Not only were bags of chips opened and Bananas half eaten, but there were Raisinets everywhere: Raisinets on the kitchen countertop, Raisinets on my dining room table, and Raisinets on my Bible. What slob destroys a kitchen and leaves such strange gifts. As I inspected the kitchen I made two discoveries. I saw a bushy tailed rodent tip toeing into my living room like a teen age son sneaking into his room after curfew, and then I was struck with the second revelation, “Those weren’t Raisinets.”
As a minister it occurred to me. “Lord, I know times have changed and people don’t have the same respect for the church. I know that pastors do not garner the same reverence that they did 20 years ago. And I know that people don’t treat one another with the same level of civility. But has it come to this – a Squirrel dropping a bomb on my Bible. “Lord have mercy.”
As I was trying to open the doors to let this visitor out I noticed the bushy tailed visitor slip into the dining room. After grabbing a tennis racket I couldn’t find him (or her – but the behavior seemed much more like a boy). I marched around the house with racket in hand making as much noise as possible. I had flashbacks to the Squirrel scene in Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation. When I came downstairs I saw a Squirrel on the top step of my front porch. I wasn’t sure if he was going to leave or drop another Raisinet on my Bible. I assumed the posture of an angry Bear and rushed toward him. But the Raisinet King didn’t move. Which made me wonder: “Was he the culprit or looking for his brother sleeping somewhere upstairs?”
Six hours have elapsed since the showdown and it’s time to go to sleep, but I’d rather stay awake for awhile. I’m not sure where the King resides. Is he sleeping with the royal family in a tree top castle outside? Or is he waiting upstairs behind a dresser, a pile of clothes, or under my bed? I don’t’ know!!!! But I can tell you this: “Tonight this minister will say his prayers. And I will pray to wake up in the morning and find my Bible open – Raisinet free.
P.S. I woke up this morning and found a bag of bread ripped open and crumbs scattered around the floor – the King lives!